Rah-rah-rah and Cooking
There is a lot of cliché advice out there but most of it is sanitized pabulum. It is the empty feel good stuff. You don’t have to think too much, you don’t have to do anything differently, you don’t have to do any heavy lifting. Apparently, it tells parents and societal helpers what they want to hear free of controversy, conflict or the need to change the status quo.
A great example of this is when we are told that it is a good idea for families to have meal time together. And then the authors cite all the benefits of sitting down together. Or the big push for mentors and how just hanging out with kids can turn their lives around.
The fact is that a number of large studies on mentoring conclude that mentoring in and of itself isn’t all that effective. It is much more than the relationship and simply being ourselves. If mentors are not active change agents, engaging kids in a new way of thinking, provoking them to relish the exploration of the unknown, motivating them to question the suffocation of their own little boxes, teaching them to welcome and thrive in the unpredictable, then what’s the point?
The family sitting down to eat together and perpetuating all the negative patterns of behavior is useful how? If I have a captive audience and I don’t use the precious time for something extraordinary, then it is just another notch on the belt of mediocrity. Sis-boom-bah.
Are we really that frightened of mixing it up with the kids? We need someone to let us off the hook with the emptiness of “why can’t we all just get along?” It is not always about taking the path of least resistance. Sometimes it is about cooking up something unforseen, experimental, pioneering and outside our own limited, protective little shells. Bon appétit.
Tags: changing kids, mentoring, messages for families, smart parents
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